


Devoid

by littlewonder



Series: Void [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean Winchester Prays to Castiel, Episode: s15e18 Despair, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Lost Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Spoilers for Episode: s15e18 Despair, The Empty (Supernatural), Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:27:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27535243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlewonder/pseuds/littlewonder
Summary: After Castiel is banished to the Empty, Dean prays to him.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: Void [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2026508
Comments: 4
Kudos: 89





	Devoid

Since being swallowed by the void, Castiel had been wandering around it, still carrying Dean around in his heart. He smiled at the black nothingness, his happiness at just finally _saying_ it thrumming through him.

He loved Dean. He loved him, and he was never going to see him again. He figured that was going to get him down eventually ― eternity in such an empty space would get to him, in the end ― but right now his memories were enough to pull him through.

And then, he didn’t just have memories. He had Dean’s voice. He was praying to him.

_Hey, Cas. I don’t know if you can hear this, where you um. Where you are. But, you um. You got to say your spiel, and I… I didn’t even get to say goodbye. I miss you, Cas, I really … really miss you. I just want you back. And if I have to come into the empty with you … or if I can bring you back here … I don’t care what I have to do, I just don’t want you to go anywhere I can’t follow._

_I know you said you couldn’t be with me, and you didn’t need to be, you could just_ say _it… but I need you, man. I… love you too. And here I am, without you. And Sammy needs me, but… I don’t know. I’ve said goodbye to you so many times that I… it’s tearing me apart. I don’t know how to do it again, for the last time. Come on, man, we always find a way to pull through. We always find our way back to each other. You saying we can’t do that one last time?_

_I don’t know, man. Help me out here. Amen._

Castiel supposed his confession had been easy, compared to what he was now putting Dean through. He felt a little guilty for that. But he couldn’t exactly answer Dean, where he was. Stuck here, out of Dean’s reach. He was only human.

So Castiel wandered helplessly through the empty, unable to answer back as Dean’s prayers continued to roll in.

Hearing Dean's prayers were the best part of this exile. He looked forward to them. They were like a lifeline, tying him to Dean.

He supposed it was just Dean’s way of venting. He started to think maybe he didn’t require a response; he too was starting to find contentment in just wanting.

And then one day, things changed.

_Hey, Cas. I know you can’t hear me. That’s fine. I just … wanted to say goodbye, final time. I’m about to do something. Something stupid, probably. And I might not survive. But I gotta do it. I’m sorry, Cas, I know you wouldn’t want me to. But we all knew this day was coming. This life, it… it’s made for tragedy. It always ends up bloody._

Castiel heard Dean’s voice waver.

_Turns out I did find a way to say goodbye to you. Goodbye, Cas. I’ll always love you._

Here, the prayer ended. Castiel broke down and cried.

This place had never felt so empty.


End file.
